My Random Thoughts

Being a Christian is extremly frustrating--especially on Sundays.  Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one who feels completely and utterly alone while sitting among so many people who are supposed to be my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

 I want that excitement that I used to have about going to church and seeing my friends and family. 

I want to have someone invite me over for lunch after church

I want friends that I can have deep theological debates with

I want someone who will keep me accountable

I want to know that someone cares.

I want to have a  mom in Tennessee

Maybe my problem is that I think to much about what I want and miss when I go to church that I forget to think about what other people want or need.

Honestly I get tired of thinking about other people because I feel like they don't give a rats *** about me.  Especially the ones I sit next to on Sundays.

Why is this such a struggle for me???

Heaven is going to be so wonderful!!  I will never feel alone in the presence of God. 

He has deep theological discussions with me

He invites me over for lunch

He keeps me accountable

He cares

He is my Father

He is always there for me when no one else is!

Yea!!  Today was my first day off in 10 days!!  And you can't really call this a day off because I still have to go into work tonight to reprogram our computer system for our new menu that starts tomorrow. 

I decided that I need a vacation and I think I am going to try and go up to St. Louis next week just for a couple days.  Staying at the Reeds' house is always relaxing!  They don't make you feel akward.  I can just be myself.  Hopefully it will all work out!

Off to work!!

Currently Listening Beverly Hills, Pt. 1 By Weezer see related

Whew...it has been quite a while since I have posted.  Sorry about that!  So lets see.......what exciting things have been going on.....hhhmmmmm........

Oh, so that cute little puppy only lasted 5 days!!  It had a serious barking problem along with the peeing and pooping on my carpet problem.  If it wasn't touching a person at all times it would make this horrible squealing barking whining noise.  Yeah, not so cool.  On the first (and only) Saturday that I had her, My friend Jen and I took her with us to kmart to get more puppy pads.  I had felt bad b/c I had been at work all day and the cute puppy was stuck at home all by herself.  Anyway, we weren't in the store for 2 minutes and there is a page over the lound intercom calling me the proud owner of a gold 4runner to the front desk.  I knew right away it was going to be about my seperation anxiety puppy in the back of the car with the windows down. 

When I got up to the counter this mean ugly old lady starts screaming at me telling me my dog is alomst dead outside. I tried to calmly tell her that my dog is not dead and had only been by herself for 2 minutes.  This lady continued to scream and start cussing at me so I decided to at least humor her and go look at my puppy. 

As I am getting closer to my car there is another lady who proceeds to scream at me and tell me my dog is dead.  Oh, and then she tells me that she just called the cops on me.  Yeah, I was pissed.  First of all my dog was fine.  The windows were down, she had just drank a whole bunch of water, all she was doing was freaking out because no one was holding her. 

Well, the cop showed up right after the stupid ladies left.  I calmly explained to him the situation and he agreed with me.  obviously my dog was not dead, nor close to being dead.

This was a sign from God for me to get rid of this dog.  That and the dog peed on my bed that night.   No more puppies for me.

Currently Reading Authentic Relationships: Discover the Lost Art of "One Anothering" By Wayne Jacobsen, Clay Jacobsen see related

I have no clue how my roomate talked me into this, but I am also now a proud mom/owner of a yellow lab puppy.  I couldn't resist when the little puppy looked into my eyes.  She is precious.

The tough part now is naming her.  Any ideas?

When I get pictures I will post them so you can see how cute she is. 

I just finished my last biology final and I think that I am actually going to pass by some miracle.  Whoever told me it was easier to take biology in the summer was wrong.  There is way too much information to remember in that short period of time.  Plus who really wants to sit through 4hrs of biology starting at 8am monday thru thurday.

Now I only have one more final today and then it is time for a much needed break for Rebecca from school!!!

My roomate just left me to go to Texas for like a million years.  I don't know how I am going to survive without her.  Sometimes she is the only one to keep me from going crazy.  So if anyone else wants to be my friend this week call me on my super cool new phone!  I will be lonely!

Wow...This day has been extremely crazy!!  I feel like I have ten days to find an apartment and move my stuff out.  My roomate and I had already kinda decided that we were going to find a place that did not have cock roaches, termite filled foyers, crumbling walls and broken toiletes.  But when I called the current landlord today she had a freakin cow!  Thankfully God gave me patience to deal with here craziness.  I think by the time we got done talking on the phone I made her feel bad for being rude to me and she isn't going to make us pay for breaking the lease as long as we are out by the end of the month.  That is not very far away!!!

My new job is going really good!  I am so glad that I took it.  All I want to do is tell all those people that nagged me about getting a degree, saying that I can't get a good job without it, to shove it! (maybe not the most christian thing to do, but that is how my horrible sinful heart feels)  I am now getting paid more than most of them probably are and I feel that I have proved them all wrong.  Too bad I can't just quit school now.  I am too close to quit!!

I need to sleep!!  I am way too sleep deprived!!!!